They Say It's Almost My Birthday...

This will be the most self indulgent post I plan to ever write, but it's been a rough day and I want to write about something light-hearted.  So here it is, my post about what I would like for my birthday.

In no particular order:

1. Adele CD

2. Alternative-Down Comforter, Queen in Avocado - I love the one we received for our wedding, but Jay hogs it! We are not a blanket-sharing couple, so I'd like my own.

3. Magical Lawn Mower and Garden Weeder- Our lawn mower has been on the fritz all summer. If a magical lawn mower could mow our lawn and weed our front flower bed, that would be awesome.

4.Escada -Island Paradise Perfume

5. Terra Organics Produce Delivery - We have several friends that have signed up for this and love it! I love having fresh organic produce delivered to our house to encourage us to eat better as well as offering up items for me to make into food for Audrey.

6. Getting family pictures. - This one is happening on Friday. Our friends, Jacqui and Travis are taking our family pictures.

7. Trip to California. - This one should be happening later this fall.  We have a handful of wonderful friends in Northern California that I really want to visit.

8. 1" Ceramic Flat Iron - With my newly shortened hair, my current flat iron gets uncomfortably close to my scalp.

9. Bridesmaids on DVD.

10. Lose the last 10 pounds of "baby weight."

That's all for now.

Adaptable

Audrey's pediatrician's office always talks about how the "ideal" baby should be adaptable to our lives.
Today I found a new adaptation,... Audrey in a baby carrier while I'm online, haha!

Here are pictures of how she is sitting right now as I write this.

When the going gets tough, my attitude sucks!

I promise you, blog readers, a post and maybe even a video (?!) about Audrey later this week. But for now, I want to write out my thoughts and "ah ha's" that I received from church last night.

For the last five or so weeks, we've been going through the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and how it applies to our lives as Christians.  Last night's step was Step 4 "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."
When I sit down and think about my struggles and am really honest with myself, I get really upset and frustrated with myself.  As many times as I commit to myself, others, and God that I will put effort forth to work on different things, I still fall short.  But as I read a post on the church blog, I was reminded that we shouldn't let ourselves be so weighed down with this "inventory list," that we feel helpless or hopeless.  Instead, we should focus on hope and the help that God provides through the Holy Spirit, and other Christians.

My friend Lindsy spoke last night at church. She posed the question, think of a stressful time in your life and how did you handled the stress?  Did you blame other people? What kinds of things were you saying?

Instantly I thought of my last few weeks at work, and how I've felt overwhelmed and stressed. As much as I may try to have a positive attitude, when I get stressed, I find myself making excuses and blaming others, gossiping, and ending most days feeling anxious, negative, and overwhelmed. Obviously, we all fall short sometimes, but when I stopped and thought about my actions and where my heart is at in these situations, I felt so horrible. But instead of dwelling on the horribleness, I am starting off this week with new found hope and patience.

Proverbs 12: 25 "Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. "

So my prayer, focus for this week is taken from Psalm 51:10,

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me... Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
So off I go, into my week with a willing spirit to serve God and others, to not blame others but to encourage others, and to let go of stress and anxiety.

CCM would be proud..

Since becoming a mom, I have become driven to be the best person I can be.  And although I type that with much conviction, it's WAAAYY easier said than done, especially in certain areas of my life.  So I warn you now faithful blog readers, what you may start to read it going to be different, it's going to be boldly real and honest. 

I want. I want to walk into a store and buy whatever I like, eat wherever sounds good without worrying about the prices, buy small things, buy big things, want things for now, and want things for later. I want. Sounds like a case of the gimmie's right?

At our amazing church, I was hit with a brick (metaphorical brick.) I spend so much time and energy, wanting and earning more money so I can buy the "want" items. My first week back to work after maternity leave and I worked overtime and even went in on the weekend.  Along with that I've been thinking about signing up to be a sales consultant for a cleaning product brand to make extra money.  I have gotten so caught up on what is tangible that I'm ignoring the most important things in my life, the intangible ones.

Although I broke down about this last night, it's still kind-of embarrassing to write and admit.  As much of a giving person as I think I am, I still want for myself.  It's been a long time since I stopped and truly appreciated who I am and what I have, and acknowledging that God provides for all of my needs.

So today I took the first step, I acknowledge that God provides for all my needs and there is no need for me to want.


I've asked my husband, and I ask you readers, to hold me accountable.  I'm not pledging to become a saint and give away my possessions (so no eyeballing by DVD collection or Kitchen Aid mixer,) but rather to have a change of heart and mind, to focus on the things that really matter. Today I found myself stop and thinking about if I really "needed" something, or "wanted" it. Unfortunately I didn't ask this question before I gulpped down a handful of mini Tootsie Rolls today. :)

Last week I was reminded of an old Jennifer Knapp song, and last night made me think of the lyrics again:

It's time
To get down on my knees and pray
"Lord, undo me!"
Put away my flesh and bone
'Til You own this spirit through me Lord,
Undo me.

I am wanting, needing, guilty and greedy
Unrighteous, unholy; undo me. Undo me!

Abba Father You must wonder why
More times than Peter I have denied.
Three nails and a cross to prove
I owe my life eternally to you!

Now this isn't to say my blog won't feature pictures, my crazy coupon trips, crafts, or tales of my daughter, but it will also feature my celebrations and struggles. Happy 4th if I don't post again before the holiday!

Oh, and to reference the title of my blog post.. Contemporary Christian Music magazine. I think they'd give me two thumbs up for a 10+ year old Jennifer Knapp reference.

O' Honey

I go through phases of wanting to sew, photograph, and bake. Last week it was the "craft bug," and this week it's the "baking bug."

Earlier this week I made Chocolate Chip Banana Bread (and muffins) for Jay. I found this great recipe on allrecipes.com (one of my favorite sites.) The secret ingredient: mayonnaise!

This morning I made a Chocolate Eruption Cheesecake, filled with white and semi-sweet chocolate chips, Snickers, and brownies.


And now, I'm making a new recipe I've never tried, but am already in love with... Blueberry-Blackberry Honey-Glazed Scones.
Both the cheesecake and scones were from the book, A Passion for Baking. My sister-in-law bought me the cookbook for Christmas a few years ago, and truly EVERYTHING I've made out of it is no short of amazing. I recommend any baker go out and buy it.


Now that baking and crafting have re-entered my life after having Audrey, I need to work on re-introducing photography. I might have a new "hobby" up my sleeve too...

Monkey Business

The past few days I spent a few hours in my craft room, the first time since Audrey was born. Our friends, Matt and Jill, are expecting a baby boy in August. I wanted to make something handmade for her shower. I made a blanket with flannel and chenille (not shown as I had already put it in the gift bag,) but I also made this...

A monkey, and not just an ordinary monkey, a monkey with flying capabilities. (May I note here that the tube socks give the "flying" power, not the cape.)

Now I can't take credit for coming up with the design, I used this tutorial from mmmcrafts, one of my favorite blogs! It did, however, inspire me to start writing tutorials. So my current goal is to design a stuffed animal (turtle, koala, panda?) and make a tutorial for it to share with others. Here's hoping I get it done before Halloween, haha!

The Birth Post

I realize I owe my few, but faithful blog readers, a much need update. Specifically, one about my amazing little girl, Audrey Jean!

I was scheduled to be induced on Thursday, March 10th. They instructed me to call the hospital at 5:00 A.M. to see if a room was available. I called at 5:00 A.M., and they told me they were very busy and to try again at 8. In the mean time, "things" started happening to kick off labor naturally. I was THRILLED! I still didn't believe my contractions were real, so I waited until I got the "okay" to go into the hospital, finally at 1:00 P.M., we got the okay to go in. I was admitted at 2:00 P.M. and was told I wasn't going home without a baby in my arms, yahoo!

Upon getting admitted, my nurse checked to see if I was dilated. I almost jumped out of my bed to hear I was a "1." (After weeks of going to the doctor only to hear that I wasn't effaced, wasn't dilated, etc.) Getting checked, jump started my contractions into overdrive, to a point they couldn't give me any medicine to help soften my cervix. So they kept waiting for the contractions to slow down, but they didn't. At 8:00 P.M. they decided they were going to try a cervix water-balloon to help me dilate to a 3. The idea of this procedure freaked me out, I did NOT want a balloon inside me! Right before they went to do the procedure, the supervising doctor checked me and said I was already dilated to a 3, hallelujah!

By that point, I decided to try to walk for a half hour and see if gravity would do some of the hard work. I came back, winded, and dilated to a 5. Now it was time to rock the epidural and start pitocin. They gave me a minimal amount of pictocin since my body was in labor already, but they wanted things to progress faster. Sometime around then my water broke. I wasn't sure if I peed my bed or my water broke, but they verified it was my water, haha. Within 3 hours of being on it, I was dilated to a 7 and about an hour later, was at a 9 and almost ready to start pushing.

At this point, I had Jay call the parents to head back to the hospital. (About 4 or 5 A.M.) When the nurse told me earlier that the epidural would take away the pain but not the pressure, I didn't understand. Haha, at this time, I was starting to understand. The pressure of her head was painful indeed! I was instructed to start pushing, so I did, three pushes for every contraction. And I did good, for about an hour, and then.. I hit a wall.

I broke down, I cried, and confessed "I can't do it!" I was winded, tired, out of breath, and in pain. The lovely nurse and awesome doctor listened to my cry, and answered it with more pain meds. The added medicine dulled it enough for me to relax for about 2 hours so I could build up some strength. Around that time, the shift changed on nurses. I was sad to see my nurse go. Of course the new nurse wanted to check me to see how far I was dilated. Upon looking at me, she told me the baby was crowning and I had to start pushing.

First off, I had Jay check to verify what she was saying. (I wasn't going to have a nurse lie to me just to get me to listen to her.) Sure enough, our little girl was right there, waiting for her big entrance. We got the doctor and my dad (to take pictures once she was born,) and ready we were! I pushed through 4 contractions and wa-la, Audrey Jean entered the world with a cry on March 11th at 7:48 a.m.

As predicted, Jay and I both cried such happy, joyful tears. Both in amazement of how beautiful she was as she was laid on my chest. The nurses commented on how big she was, but we didn't believe it until they weighed her... 9 pounds and 8 ounces! She seemed so small, heck, she still does.

Here are a few pictures of her first moments/days:

Now, she's 9 weeks old and doing wonderful! She smiles when smiled at, coo's, and is starting to try to touch things. She loves looking at things and is building more words/sounds to her vocabulary every day. We love snuggling and playing with her. Here's a more updated picture: